Why changing career or relationship is so hard

by | Mar 8, 2023 | BLOG

I’ve finally got around to uploading all the certificates that I have gained over the past few years onto LinkedIn. I’ve been busy!

Changing my career and getting divorced at the same time has been a huge shift in identity and it’s been existentially excruciating!! I felt as though I was stepping into a void of unknown – “If I’m not that, WHO am I?”

Often when you contemplate a shift in career or relationship it feels scary. Stepping out of something and not – yet – knowing what the new will bring is truly stepping into a void of unknown potential. It’s a journey of IDENTITY, of personal truth. And of daring to just BE and discovering who you ARE by following what lights you up and by risking being seen by others, in case they should judge you harshly.

In my case, my previous career had been in the male-dominated industry of logistics and warehousing. I was the co-founder of the business, alongside my ex-husband. Our company went from being tiny to becoming what is now a nationally-recognised market-leader. I identified as being an award-winning business owner. I had forged my way in a male-dominated industry. But none of it was making me happy.

Can you relate to this? Do you sometimes wonder whether you SHOULD be feeling happy about something when in fact, you don’t?

It took some time to leave my husband and leave my company, but I did it in pursuit of an imagined future – one where I was relaxed and joyful again. To get there I had to TRUST, because my present day was full of grief and loss. I felt a lightness around my new circumstances, because I was free to be me again. I just didn’t know who ME was.

If you had to trust to make a change, what would you need in place to support your choice? For me it was good friends, a meditation practice and the knowledge that the ‘Hero’s Journey’ is one which involves risk and challenges.

The moment when I felt the most ME was when I dared to admit that I work with tarot cards. All of the kudos that I’d built up as a woman in logistics felt as though it went flying out of the window. “She’s nothing but a ‘woo-woo’, someone who can’t be taken seriously”, I imagined they’d say. It felt really scary to risk being me and to not be taken seriously. So far that actually hasn’t happened – or not to my knowledge anyway. In fact the opposite happened – those who were interested LEANED IN and listened.

The work that I do with the tarot supports the ‘Hero’s Journey’. Did you know that the cards themselves are structured around this journey? I talk about that a lot more in my soul psychology tarot workshops (next one coming up on April 1st in Belsize Park, NW3). The workshop introduces the tarot as a self-support tool on your journey of self.

Changing career or relationship is about daring to be something new, of throwing your identity in the air and being in the not-yet-formed potential. It’s also risking being yourself in case you may be judged for it. No wonder it’s scary.

Is there something you’re not daring to show of yourself yet?