I pulled three cards this week, from three different decks, and the message seemed to be about relating.

Also, my cat was present reminding me of the importance of giving loving attention. (Maybe you can spot her in the photo…)?

The first card pulled was Juno, from the Celestial Deities Oracle. Juno signals the importance of relationships – and relating – so this feels like our overarching theme for the month.

Juno reminds me of the kind of commitment that doesn’t ask you to disappear. She holds space for the kind of relating that’s side by side and not top-down, not martyrdom. Just being with someone in the fullness of who they are, and who you are. “You be you, and I’ll be me,” she says.

Then came the New Moon in Aquarius, from the Moonology deck. There’s a swift energy here – “It’s time, go for it!” – and it brings a reminder that this energy won’t come from waiting for someone else to bring it. It’s down to you.

And then the Five of Wands, from Pagan Otherworlds. Not conflict exactly, but more like tension while co-creating.

All three cards really connected me to the concept of the drama triangle where we find aspects of our inner persecutor, rescuer and victim all being triggered, while triggering aspects of the same in others.

Are you aware that sometimes we call this drama triangle energy in before we even meet someone?

What does that mean?

It means: pay attention to your intention behind a new collaborative relationship. That’s what November is all about.

Be careful if you find yourself thinking,
“Maybe I can help them out of this,” (the ‘rescuer’)
or
“Maybe this person is the one who can help me.” (the ‘victim’)

Because before you’ve even started co-creating, you’re already inside the triangle.

The solution?

Check in with yourself.
Don’t enter a new collaborative relationship thinking you’re going to save someone’s project or that someone else is going to save yours.

Find your boundaries.
Negotiate well.
Come in adult to adult.

That’s when your Five of Wands energy becomes more about building than fighting.

Together, the cards said:

• You can relate without rescuing.
• You can hold your ground and still move relationally with love.
• You can build something new, even if it’s messy.

So, as we step into November, maybe this is an invitation not to retreat or over-function, but to meet yourself relationally as an adult, as you start co-creating with another.

Relating, but not like before.