Sam Starr

Adventures, myths and images

Discovery and adventure have always been important to me. I grew up the daughter of a real-life adventurer. My dad was one of the first hot-air balloonists in the country and we would spend a lot of weekends camping and flying balloons.

My dad died when I was 18 and soon after my mum’s alcoholism got worse and she moved away. Having lost both my parents at a young age, I was left without much older generational support. I found myself drawn to tarot cards, oracles, and the I Ching – and these things became a source of wisdom and my safe place.

I also studied Classics and loved delving into the Greek myths and their meanings. I became a truth seeker and exploring what it meant to be human through ancient images and these stories helped me feel connected.

Connection, community and diversity

As a young adult, I was an active part of the London rave scene of the 1990s. I remember standing on club podiums dancing, looking out at smiling people, and feeling so happy. I loved connecting with my fellow humans in all their glorious colourful diversity.

But, the experience was associated with alcohol and drugs so was ultimately distorted and unsustainable. Now, I choose to experience these values of community and inclusivity through deeper, more authentic connections – both with myself and with others. I’ve hosted safe spaces in sex-positive events and enjoy being part of conscious communities.

A vision

One busy afternoon at work, I sat back in exasperation and asked myself: ‘What do you want, Sam?’

I had a vision of me standing outside with my back to the office, in a huddle of people. I was wearing free-flowing clothes and my hair was down. I looked over my shoulder back at the ‘me’ inside the office and, with a warm smile, said: ‘Everything is going to be ok’.

That’s when I knew what I wanted. I wanted that feeling – of being connected with people and feeling light, calm and free. From that moment on, I followed that feeling even though I had no idea where it was taking me.

An inner voice

Years after my dad died and when my marriage was in crisis I remember sobbing into my pillow and asking out loud: ‘Will somebody help me please?’ I then heard my dad’s voice inside my head, saying: ‘Just get up in the balloon.’

My dad had been a balloon pilot but we were never allowed to go up with him as children. So I took a deep breath and imagined going up in that balloon … and I was filled with a feeling – not knowing where I was going, but feeling utterly free. And I felt my entire body relax. This was such a key moment of release for me, that I wrote about it in an article published in Aerostat magazine, which you can read HERE.

A dream

I had a dream a few years back where I was shown a tarot deck that I was told I ‘wasn’t ready for yet’. From the front cover, I saw that it was a deck combining tarot with psychosynthesis. It felt important so I wrote the dream down and put it away in a drawer.

A few years later when I was thinking about what to write for my MA thesis in Psychosynthesis, I found that piece of paper and laughed out loud. I realised that I was now ready to follow that dream! This is how I discovered the tarot which became a central part of my journey back to wholeness.

I use the tarot as a technique to evoke and integrate messages from your soul.