April has been a month of change.
Was it the same for you?
At the March Tarot Gathering, we spent time with the Five of Cups. This card reminds us that while we have a tendency to focus on what we have lost, we can forget what we still have.
If you have gone through a shift in identity recently, you may be very identified with what you no longer have as a result of that choice. When you choose to do things differently, to bravely step away from things that no longer serve you, somewhere in that step towards greater meaning, you leave some of you behind.
For me, I left a high-earning business that I’d co-founded and built over 15 years – to become a life coach.
Now that I no longer own that business, I can get stuck worrying about money, as if I were staring at the three ‘spilled’ cups in the Five of Cups.
But this month I stopped looking that way and shifted my attention to what I do have.
This shift felt quite seismic. It moved me away from a feeling of scarcity into one of abundance and gratitude.
I had a wonderful day presenting Ground & Rise® Tarot at the Psychosynthesis Symposium. I don’t think I’ve ever been so playful on the mic, introducing the concepts and encouraging experiential participation. Often when I am with the cards, teaching or hosting, I am holding a safe space for participants, which calls for a grounded seriousness. But on that day I was simply excited to share my love of working with the cards in this way:
The connection
The joy
The feeling of being guided and held
Being part of the Great Mystery of life
Past, present and potential
And then the week after, there was a death in the family, and I had to be serious again. I was looking after my mother, who is in early-stage dementia, as she navigates the loss of her long-time partner.
That’s when I felt a different kind of change. Not the kind we choose or create, but the kind that arrives with loss.
Clearing out my calendar to be with my mum. Feeling emotionally drained as I supported her through the repeated forgetting, and remembering again, that he had passed.
In all of this, I tried not to stay only with the sadness and memories of what has been lost, but also with the tenderness of what mum and I were sharing in those moments. The support from family and friends. The love of what we still have and cherish.
It has left me feeling more connected to heart-centred choices, and less pulled by choices that come from scarcity, which feel far less relevant right now.
Choose love. Choose the heart. Choose to turn towards the two standing cups in the Five of Cups and feel what is meaningful and present for you, what exists and is already here. You don’t have to go looking for it because it’s not something to chase – that’s the beautiful reminder of the Five of Cups. What you seek is only waiting to be met.
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